Here’s the thing about feminism…I don’t love it.

Here’s the thing about feminism…I don’t love it. And it’s not that I don’t understand it – I get that it’s not just “man-hating,” and that it’s centered around empowering women to be strong and successful and respectful of other women (and men) and whatever. I get all of that. And that’s great. I’m just not sure that we need a movement, a “club,” to make that happen. Because what happens when you start segregating people into inclusion/exclusion situations like “feminist” and “not a feminist,” is you end up creating a rift where you’re trying to create a bridge.

Listen…I’m a woman. I’ve been a woman all my life. But I’ve never felt that being a woman has made any opportunities less available to me than to anyone else. Have I been mistreated on occasion by men? Yeah. Have I been mistreated on occasion by women? Yeah. Have men been mistreated on occasion by other men? Absolutely. Have men occasionally been mistreated by women? Yeah.

So…okay, sure. Let’s encourage women to be ambitious and tenacious and resilient and successful. But let’s not assume that men are this way just because they’re men. Let’s expect men to respect women, and also women to respect men, and women to respect women, and men to respect men. We don’t need feminism to encourage people to be respectful of each other.

And honestly…if you grew up as a woman in the United States (or most developed countries), you really don’t have that much to complain about being a woman. You feel like women are being objectified by men? And that men aren’t being held accountable enough for taking advantage of the women in this country? Maybe you’re right. But you don’t live in a culture where it’s acceptable (expected, even) for you to do sex favors for your boyfriend or husband in order to access feminine hygiene products during your period. You live in a country where there exists a legal system to punish men for that kind of behavior because it’s considered unacceptable in this country. You have nearly unlimited access feminine hygiene products in this country, and you can go the store yourself and purchase them with your own money that you made at the job that you have to support yourself through the education that you're getting.

You feel like women aren’t taken seriously enough in the workforce, and that they aren’t being paid fairly enough? Maybe they’re not. But you have the opportunity in this country to get an education and to get a job that you enjoy. That you’re passionate about. You have access to birth control (and abortion), and live in a culture where it’s acceptable (and expected) to consent to sex. You don’t live in a culture where it’s acceptable for men to take advantage of you, leaving you with several children at a young age so that you no longer have the opportunity to pursue an education, a career, and your dreams and passion.

So…listen. If you insist on identifying with feminism and pushing a feminist agenda, and you’re really passionate about empowering women and celebrating womanhood—that’s all fine and great. I don’t really feel the need. I’ve worked hard to create the life for myself that I want, with an education and a respectable career. And I’ve done it without embracing feminism and without the need to remind my peers that I’m a woman and that I’m capable of everything that the men in my social circle are capable of. I’ve done it without drawing strength from, or receiving the support of, other “powerful” women. I often find myself extraordinarily grateful for the sacrifices made during the women's suffrage movement that’s allowed me to have the same opportunities as men in my country, but I haven’t really felt like women have had all that tough of a battle to fight in that regard anymore—at least, not in my country.

If you really want to make a serious difference in the lives of women, there are hundreds of thousands of women around the world that could really benefit from that passion. They won’t have the opportunities that you do unless we use the opportunities available to us and offer them our help.