“If you don’t yet love the temple, go more often—not less. Let the Lord, through His Spirit, teach and inspire you there. I promise you that over time, the temple will become a place of safety, solace, and revelation."

President Russell M. Nelson

…Actually, of the 520 weeks in those ten years, I missed five of them. But 515 of 520 is still something to write home about. Over the last decade, I’ve probably spent close to 1,000 hours as a patron in the temple and done proxy work for more than 2,300 people. It’s been a hefty investment.

Closing a chapter always feels one of two ways to me. Either exhausted bliss, usually accompanied by a great sense of achievement – like at my academic graduation ceremonies – or longing with a twinge of grief that my life will never be the same – like when I retired my little rescue horse from competition.

Today, I feel both.

When I began this journey in January of 2013, I didn’t intend to keep it up this long. It started as a New Year’s Resolution with a friend who was working on her testimony. While I wasn’t particularly fond of the idea when she pitched it, I accepted (somewhat begrudgingly) in an effort to be a supportive friend.

I told myself it would be a good opportunity to show God how ready I was to take the next step in my spiritual journey and make my own temple covenants—including being sealed to a husband for time and all eternity.

I hadn’t achieved marriage after one year, so I just decided to keep up the resolution into year two. Joke’s on me because ten years in I'm still not married.

But the time I’ve spent in the temple has changed me. I’m not the person I was when I started, and I attribute a lot of that to doing the gritty work of figuring out what I wanted my relationship with God and religion to look like. The time I’ve spent worshiping in the temple has played a significant role in that pilgrimage.

So, in honor of completing ten years of (nearly) weekly temple attendance, here is a list of the four most impactful things I’ve learned.

1. It’s not about time, it’s about priority.

By far the number one thing I hear from people when they find out I attend the temple every week is, “I’d love to go more often but I just don’t have the time.”

For several years during the last decade, I was a full-time university student in an honors program, working two jobs and a side-hustle to support myself, and training professionally in my hobby (my horse and I qualified to compete at Nationals more than once during this time). It was a lot to juggle and required immaculate scheduling.

To ensure I would meet my goal, I prioritized temple trips into my tight schedule alongside academic, extracurricular, and professional responsibilities. I’ve been amazed at what I can make time for if I seat it at my table of priorities.

I should mention, however, that I'm childless and have always lived very close to several temples. I recognize that not having easy access to temples, or needing to arrange for childcare, can be significant barriers to attending the temple on a regular schedule.

“Should distance, health challenges, or other constraints prohibit your temple attendance for a season," President Nelson recently taught, "I invite you to set a regular time to rehearse in your mind the covenants you have made” (2021, The Temple and Your Spiritual Foundation).

I also want to clarify that regularly doesn't have to mean weekly. Going annually could be attending on a regular schedule, if done deliberately.

2. Keeping our covenants doesn't mean keeping them secret.

The temple ceremonies tell us exactly which parts should not be discussed outside temple walls. Our covenants are not among them.

I’ve found it’s easiest for me to think about the relationship between covenants and ordinances like a contract. The purpose of the body of the contract is to explain, in detail, the specific terms of the agreement. Each party then adds their signature to the bottom of the contract, binding them each to the arrangement.

Our covenants are like the document—they're the details about the terms we’re agreeing to. The ordinances are like the signatures—they're the actions we (and God) take to bind ourselves to the arrangement.

Fully active members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints will make seven covenants (via ordinances) directly associated with the temple in their lifetime. I think that’s especially beautiful because the number seven traditionally symbolizes perfection.

Fully endowed members of the church have promised to keep the baptismal covenant, the law of obedience, the law of sacrifice, the law of the gospel, the law of chastity, the law of consecration. If they’ve been sealed, they’ve also promised to keep the sealing covenant. Each of these covenants comes with very specific terms of agreement and unique ordinances that contractually binds the member (and God, see D&C 82:10) to the covenant.

I’ve listed each of these covenants, along with their specific requirements, blessings, and ordinances, at the end of this post for reference.

3. I can’t keep my covenants if I don’t know what they are.

The most important thing I think I’ve learned from attending the temple so regularly is that I can’t keep my covenants well if I don't understand what I agreed to when I made them.

Our covenants are very specific, and we’ve promised to uphold each in a very specific way.

Fully endowed (and sealed) members of the church have promised to:

1. Keep the baptismal covenant by mourning with those that mourn, standing as a witness of God, and taking the name of Christ upon them (i.e., committing to represent Him well).

2. Live the law of obedience and strive to keep Heavenly Father’s commandments.

3. Obey the law of sacrifice, which means sacrificing to support the Lord’s work and repenting with a broken heart and contrite spirit.

4. Obey the law of the gospel of Jesus Christ, which is the higher law that He taught while He was on the earth.

5. Keep the law of chastity, which means that a member has sexual relations only with the person to whom he or she is legally and lawfully wedded according to God’s law.

6. Keep the law of consecration, which means that members dedicate their time, talents, and everything with which the Lord has blessed them to building up Jesus Christ’s Church on the earth.

7. Keep the sealing covenant, which means that members counsel together responsibly with their spouse and lead their family together in righteousness.

Six of those seven covenants (chastity as the outlier) involve being willing to consider the needs of others, often above our own. By asking us to make and keep these covenants, God is building a community of saints that look out for and support each other, where each person is willing to make personal sacrifices for the betterment of the community as a whole – sometimes at the expense of their individual will.

Nowhere in our temple covenants are we asked to uphold the principles of agency or individual liberty. Instead, we learn in the endowment that we were given agency so we could use it to make and keep these seven covenants.

To echo Elder Bednar, “I have heard so many people define agency as ‘I can do whatever I want.’ That is a completely false and incorrect definition. We are not given agency to do whatever we want. We are given agency to love God and love one another” (I heard him say this at a 2021 YSA multi-stake conference in American Fork, Utah, but he gave a similar message in Argentina in 2017).

I don't mean to suggest we shouldn't honor and protect our right to choose. I just mean that these temple covenants are literally ancient, and we should take care not to view them too myopically through a modern lens.

4. When I focus on keeping my own covenants, I'm much less concerned with whether others are keeping theirs.

Several years into my goal, I decided to focus on trying to better understand why prophets of God, especially President Nelson, have so strongly encouraged members of the church to regularly attend the temple and come to understand our covenants.

“To each of you who has made temple covenants, I plead with you to seek—prayerfully and consistently—to understand temple covenants and ordinances” (President Russell N. Nelson, 2021, The Temple and Your Spiritual Foundation).

Today, I believe it’s because God wants us to understand exactly how we’ve promised Him we’ll behave so we can build Zion after the true manner of His desire. I don’t think we’re there yet.

One scripture that has long captivated me is D&C 64:10: “I, the Lord God, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.”

Justice is an inextricable principle of Christianity, certainly, but I don't believe it’s our burden to bear. Our place, as covenant saints of God, is to love and to forgive. I know we've sometimes been taught that we have a responsibility to police and condemn the choices of others (e.g., "We must forsake transgression and any hint of advocacy of it in others," Holland), but the way we talk, and are taught, about the principles of the gospel often change as the social world around us does. I wonder what the church will look like when Millennials and GenZ fill the organization's highest ecclesiastical leadership positions. As they grew up in a vastly different social world than current church leaders, their perspectives on gospel doctrines and principles will likely be a bit different from the perspectives of today's leaders.

For example, this may be an unpopular perspective at the moment, but I've had a difficult time corroborating the teaching that we should be condemning the decisions of others with our covenants and core doctrine. Everything I've found points to working on ourselves and holding space for others. As far as I can tell, our religion places the burden of condemning others' actions squarely on the shoulders of God.

Some exceptions exist, to be sure, such as the role of parents to their children or bishops to their congregations. We also see examples in the scriptures of spiritual leaders condemning the actions of the people they govern. But lately, I don’t believe those exceptions should be extrapolated beyond their very specific circumstances. Overwhelmingly so, as a community of saints, I don’t believe it’s our job (or our place) to attempt to discourage others from, or punish them for, engaging in behaviors we believe to be contrary to our doctrine. That's just my opinion, of course, but as I’ve focused on understanding and keeping my own temple covenants, I’ve found I spend far less time trying to get others to align with my specific set of values and principles and far more time considering whether my own behavior is truly reflecting them.

Whether it’s how someone chooses to wear their temple garment, who (or how) they choose to date or marry, or how they choose (or not) to live the principles of the gospel – I am powerless to bring another person to the covenant path. The decision to come to (or go from) the path is theirs alone. My job is only to love, forgive, and help them feel, as a fellow child of God, that they're welcome in our community. I maim myself in that work when I'm critical (inwardly as much as outwardly) of the decisions they choose to make.

Onward, to a New Decade

Anyway, that’s a lot and it barely scratches the surface. I’ve learned so much about myself, and my covenants, over the last ten years attending the temple every week. I feel I have a much better understanding now of why church leaders encourage us to attend the temple and understand our covenants.

2023 is not only bringing a new year for me, but a new decade as well. My feelings about coming to the end of this era are complicated, but I’m grateful for the growth I’ve experienced and the foundation I’ve built as I journey into my thirties.

So onward, to a new chapter. To new opportunities for growth. And to new understanding about what it means to be a covenant child of God.

Temple Covenants and Ordinances of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

1. Baptism

a. Covenant (our part): Mourn with those who mourn, comfort those that need comfort, stand as a witness of God, and take the name of Christ upon us/commit to represent Him well (Mosiah 18:9, D&C 20:75-79).

b. Covenant (God’s part): “Ye may be redeemed of God, and be numbered with those of the first resurrection, that ye may have eternal life” (Mosiah 18:9).

c. Ordinance: Baptism by immersion, followed by confirmation by the laying on of hands.

2. The Law of Obedience (Endowment)

a. Covenant (our part): Live the law of obedience and strive to keep Heavenly Father’s commandments.